The official manager was in a dilemma as to who should play in goal due to the fact that with Dee in goal the team would only have 10 players but with yours truly in goal and Dynamite Dee outfield we would have 11.

The decision was taken on the night to play 11, the game got under way with Margaret Towers umpiring on the far side of the pitch which was a little unsettling as she normally umpires on the rugby pitch side. After about 5 minutes play a short corner was awarded to Three Rock - god knows why - anyway they scored partly because our goalie was crap although Bernie did try to stop the ball with her leg. A few minutes later our crap goalie was faced with 2 on 1 and obviously went for the wrong player - yes they scored again. One of their forwards swore but the umpire chose to ignore this - perhaps a letter should be written to the Leinster branch pointing out how un-lady like this is!!! Me thinks she may have been enticed into swearing by one of our players (no names mentioned).

Nora pulled a fetlock and swapped places with Helen as centre forward - hopefully she’ll be ok for our last match.

Half time arrived with us 2-0 down, there was a quick turn around and believe it or not our goalie (and she’s good - no not me) from last week did a spectacular dive in the circle and scored!!! For some reason Vanessa decided to come back and play in defence, perhaps she was hoping to get player of the match - your trick failed. All was going along swimmingly until about a minute to go when Three Rock struck again and we went down 3-1. Mary MacSherry and Bernie O’Sullivan shared player of the match.

It was great to see Eleanor back out playing. Good luck to the team on 26th March when they take on Hermes in Railway at 7.30pm as I won’t be there and have left Dee in charge - will she show up on time to open the changing rooms??

Having received a call from Genesis informing me that they only had 6 players and after a head count I said no problem as we have 12 you can have 3 of our players and we’ll play a friendly. Having struggled into my gear and chatted with my team mates in the changing room we headed down to the pitch to find that in fact Genesis had 8 players and we only had 10!!! Don’t ask??!!

Anyway the game got under way and we should have scored at least 6 times in the first half but our mids and forwards could not put the ball in the net even though there was no goalie and on 1 occasion nobody in front of 1 of our players (no names mentioned but she plays cricket for Railway). At last Vanessa managed to score (about bloody time) and about 10 minutes later Ursula put the ball in the net having received the ball with a great flick back by Colette.

Yours truly touched the ball once although Emer had to shout at me to move as I was rooted to the ground. Half time came and we were 2 nil up. The second half saw some lovely hockey with great passing between players on both sides but no goals were scored or conceded. Gormlaith was awarded woman of the match.

We retired to bar for our warm down and were joined by Railway who had travelled all the way to Botanic while we were using their pitch - who does the fixtures these days?? Railway beat Botanic 4-0 and as we drew with Railway I am expecting great things next Friday at 7.30pm in Railway against Botanic.

Muckross v Botanic Friday 5th March 2010

At 3.30pm on Friday 5th March a plea went out to all club members to come and help out the vets who were reduced to 9 players due to other commitments - needless to say there was no response and to make matters worse Hilary cried off as she had to work late and our sponsor forgot that we had a match!!!

With 7 players we took to the pitch to take on the 11 strong Botanic side only to find ourselves 1-0 down at half time which was a pretty good effort although Colette tried to take out Emer instead of one of the opposition. The girls were a little out of breath but went back out for the second half determined to try and score a goal. Nora got a rush of blood to the head and forgot that an outfield player is no longer allowed to stop the ball with a hand and gave away a penalty corner (we all thought this should have been a stroke!!??). Dynamite Dee lived up to her name and pulled off save after save although one of her dives was a little late but looked good and she was awarded player of the match.

The full time whistle went and we lost 1-0 but in my book that was a win with 8 (yes our sponsor Mary turned up with 5 minutes to go) against 11.

Our next match is on Friday 12th March v Three Rock Rovers in Railway at 7.30pm.

With a squad of 13 players and three supporters we met in Pembroke Wanderers to take on a very young looking Avoca side. Birth certificates were produced by the opposition although some looked as though they were fakes!! The game got under way with a blast and Avoca put their feet hard onto the accelerator and scored within the first 2 minutes of the match with a 1 on 1 with Dynamite Dee who was caught off guard. Avoca struck again a few minutes later from a short corner which was beautifully struck and landed in the back of the goal off Bernie’s leg - bet she has a nice bruise to prove it. Half time came and the players insisted on switching positions so as to shore up the middle of the pitch - that told the manager how c**p she is at allocating positions.

With Nora moving into defence and Mary going to mid the team looked far better in the 2nd half and we probably should have scored at least twice, once with a break away by Vanessa from a through ball from Basher (I think - my apologies if that’s wrong) but she couldn’t make it count. The 2nd attempt was from a short corner which unfortunately Basher miscued.

Bernie, Nora and Jean worked tirelessly in defence to keep Avoca from scoring in the 2nd half and I am proud to say we drew this half!! Their umpire apologised for any mistakes she made at the end of the match explaining that she had never umpired before - this is a new one on me - whatever will happen next.

The final result was 2-0 to Avoca and Bernie O’Sullivan was awarded woman of the match.

Suzanne (Geriatrics Coordinator) will be missed as she heads off to Laos for about a year to work - her wonderful reports will be missed so you’ll just have to put up with me doing the job in her place.

Next match is Friday 12th February in Railway at 7.30pm against Botanic.

Oct. Tue.20th Muckross v Corinthians Alex College 8.00pm 0-1

Dec. Fri. 5th Muckross v Railway Park Avenue 7.30pm 1-1

Jan Fri. 22nd Muckross v Pembroke Park Avenue 7.30pm 0-4

Jan. Fri. 29th Muckross v Sutton Park Avenue 7.30pm 0-0

Feb Fri. 5th Muckross v Avoca Serpentine Avenue 8.00pm

Feb. Fri. 12th Muckross v Botanic Park Avenue 7.30pm

Feb Fri. 26th Muckross v Genesis Park Avenue 7.30pm

Mar Fri. 12th Muckross v T.R.L. Park Avenue 7.30pm

Mar Fri. 26th Muckross v Hermes Park Avenue 7.30pm

Our Magnificent Manager has been considering some very interesting and lucrative offers from rival clubs over the summer – but to date has resisted the temptation to cash in on our success – or maybe it was the promise of another major bonus from our cash strapped club that has made her stay. Anyway, like many of the celebrity circle she now mixes in, she has had some major “work” done over the summer (a nip here, a tuck there) and I’m glad to report that she is now back on form and sporting a very fetching new hair do!

Indeed, our success has galvanized some of our older longstanding members to dig out boots and sticks and put themselves forward for selection once again; welcome back Hilary and Basher!

Our performance at the 7 –a-side tournament in April perhaps reflected how “burnt out” we were after such a hard fought league season. Most memorable moments were Dynamo Dee taking on all comers for half the teams in the tournament and Mary MacSherry’s master class in “how to put your foot in it” with respect to our Magnificent Manager. “Should have gone to Spec Savers” Mary.

On a sad note – the Vets League will be the poorer for the absence of Ann Cox who passed away during the summer, may she rest in peace.

The weather was seriously wet all day Friday and some top level communications were required to ensure that rain did not stop play. Our Magnificent Manager rose to the occasion and after a bit of prompting by the Geriatrics Coordinator she had a word with the “man above” (he listens to celebs you know) who turned off the taps in time for a little sunshine to dry out the pitch before the match.

Ref Towers TRIED to explain the new rules re frees, hit outs etc to us all at the start of the match but I’m afraid it went in 11 ears and straight out the other 11, judging from the subsequent free taking etc. during the game!

Old Alex, however, seemed to be more familiar with the new rules. And don’t let the OLD bit fool you, you never saw such a spritely bunch of Vets in your life! These girls must have been in training all summer! The “young one” I was (supposed) to be marking had some sort of teli-porter installed and as soon as I would turn my back she would transport herself to the other side/end of the pitch!

Despite the fact that Alex were a player short, they kept up pressure all through the first half though Muckross made a good few incursions into their circle. Neither team managed to score.

In the second half, Alex were getting frustrated with not being able to get the ball past Dynamo Dee who as usual was not sparing herself and was rolling around on the ground in great style. Emer had a near miss near Alex’s goal mouth, Rita took over Tidy Bridy’s roll playing footsy with the ball and yours truly kept on getting Ref Towers mixed up with our backs and passing the ball back to her!

When the final whistle was blown at a Nil All score it was a disappointed Alex who left the field and a much relieved Muckross team.

Next match is tomorrow night at 8pm in against Corinthians at Old Alex grounds in Miltown. Based on the weather forecast, I think Judy is going to have to have a word with “him upstairs” again!!!

Dynamo Dee has returned from injury and is once again shrouded in pads kickers and face mask.  She has taken a vow not to throw herself on the ground every time a ball comes within an ass’s roar of the goal mouth but has not been very successful in keeping the vow.

Our official manager has managed to hold on to her extremely sought after position despite the team’s shaky start to the season. Lack of facilities at Railway have however, meant that she is not able to put in a personal appearance on the sideline but has had to resort to telephone instructions to the team from her home bar in St. Alban’s Park!  This approach has been very successful and we will be suggesting that all teams try this next season!

An so to the matches;

Friday 6th March,  Muckross V Three Rock

An excellent match in fine weather.  Muckross fielded a full team but Three Rock could only manage 10 players.  However, they rose to the occasion and managed to give Dee a few anxious moments.  Mary MacSherry lined out at centre back for Muckross and then had the nerve to leave the rest of the backs holding the fort as she sashayed into the Three Rock circle and scored the first goal of the match!  Some people just do not know their place!  Vanessa, who at least was playing on the forward line, made the score 2-0 in the second half and that was the final score.  

Friday 27th March, Muckross V Botanics

Again the weather gods smiled and the opposition managed to find their way across from the north side. Botanic are always a formidable foe and double shin pads were issued to all our team.  Muckross managed to get in the first score with a lovely goal from Helen.  Colette whacked in a second goal before Botanic managed to reply with a goal which just sneaked passed Dee’s outstretched kicker and the score was two –one to Muckross at half time.

Botanic piled on the pressure in the second half and Dee and the backs did well to keep the ball out of our net.  However, the poor Botanic umpire was the one under most pressure, putting up with dogs abuse from both teams as she struggled to keep order in our half as the minutes ticket towards the final whistle.   

The final score was 2-1 to Muckross after a hard fought game.

The next match is this Friday the 17th April in Railway– see you all there!   

The Geriatrics Co-ordinator

With a massive squad of 22 players 11 turned up last Friday to take on last year’s league winners Old Alex who only had 10 players.  This match turned out to be very hard fought with some interesting stick tackling from both teams. Bernie took matters into her hands from the very start of the match and outshone everyone else in defence with her accurate clearing of the ball which invariably found another Muckross (or even ex Dalkey) player.   Our intrepid team, which actually had 3 forwards for the first time this season, got a great break in the first half with the ball being sent up the right hand side of the pitch, for the first time in the game, by Ursula who made a superb pass to Vanessa who jumped over an Alex player who had lost her footing in their circle and smashed the ball past their mature goalie to put us 1-0 up.  

Half time arrived soon after and our 2 supporters, Dynamite Dee and ex GB international Elaine gave us a team talk suggesting that perhaps using the right had side of the pitch would be a good idea.  The match restarted and Alex drove hard at our defence putting the ball perilously close to the post on several occasions.  Several short corners were awarded to them and each time the defence managed to clear them.  The last shot on goal came as the final whistle blew and for once our goalie (me) was in the right place at the right time for the ball to ricochet of her kicker.

A brilliant win was recorded and Bernie was awarded player of the match.

Our next match is not until 6th March so you can all have a rest but don’t overdo the eating and drinking.

Judy

Official Manager of the mighty Muckross Vets Team

Dee-saster!  The team was very upset to learn that ONE of our star player (I must be careful not to offend anyone) had broken her wrist in the line of duty!  Yes folks it appears that during one of her many spectacular dives to try and put the ball in the back of the net during our match against Pembroke in 2008, Dynamo Dee broke her wrist.  She valiantly played in the match against Railway (in fact, she may have even played for Railway) despite this injury.  However, the lifting of the turkey and the odd wine glass over the Christmas proved too much and Dee has had to moth-ball the stick and boots for a month or two!

This unfortunate mishap obviously put the team into a tail spin and it was an uphill battle from the start whistle – blown by Ref Towers.

Avoca seemed to be suffering from an identity crisis from the start – with shouts of encouragement of “Come on Dalkey” from their very voluble goal keeper which persisted throughout the match.  Their various umpires also seemed to be having trouble identifying who they were playing, “eh! The green team’s ball”

Muckross were on the defensive from the start with Judy and the Backs doing well to keep the ball out of the net during the 1st half.  Mary Mc Sherry played a blinder clearing the ball off the line more than once while Jean did her fair share of the work.  The mid field did Trojan work to try and get the ball to the forward line but to no avail.  At half time it was scoreless.

However, something had to give and Avoca eventually found a crack in our defense and managed to get two balls in the back of the net (not at the same time though).  Our forward line had very little opportunity to shine during the match which was probably just as well.  I reckon the combined age of the forward line was nearly 110 and that just between Emer and yours truly! (It took me a week to recover!)

Now you might wonder what on earth yours truly was doing in the forward line, given that I usually prefer staying at the back and annoy Judy.  Well the sad fact is that there was no one else available. It would appear that we have a surplus of defense players but very few forwards!

So if there are any budding forwards in the club that are over 35 and would like to be picked for  the 1st team every match -  Join the VETs!

The match finished 2-0 in favour of Avoca (or was it Dalkey?) and Mary McSherry was named “Woman of the match”

Next match is on the 23rd of January and unfortunately I’m not available for selection so the forward line is just going to have to do without me!

Good luck with the match and I will be expecting a great match report from someone!!!!

Suzanne

The Geriatrics Co-ordinator